I'll turn round in the street and
look at the passers-by,
I'll be a passer-by myself. I'll
learn
how to get up and lay aside the
horror
of night and go out walking as I
used to.
I'll apply my mind to work for a
time,
I'll go back there, by the window,
smoking
and relaxed. But my eyes will be
the same,
my gestures too, and my face. That
empty secret
that lingers in my body and dulls
my gaze
will die slowly to the rhythm of
the blood
where everything vanishes.
I'll go out one morning,
I won't have a house any more,
I'll go out in the street;
the night's horror will have left
me;
I'll be frightened of being alone.
But I'll want to be alone.
I'll look at passers-by with the
dead smile
of someone who's beaten, but
doesn't hate or cry out,
for I know that since ancient
times fate -
all that you've been or will ever
be - is in the blood,
in the murmur of the blood. I'll
wrinkle my brows
alone, in the middle of the
street, listening for an echo
in the blood. And there'll be no
echo any more,
I'll look up and gaze at the
street.